Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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