When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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