They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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