Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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