I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
