so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
