i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How naked do you want me to be?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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