Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
one might say we're banned from that church
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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