Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
