Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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