Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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