I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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