then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
