What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
