they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
