Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
