So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
we're so committed to being not committed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
