Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
