his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
