talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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