if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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