its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
