My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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