There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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