Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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