that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
