I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I did not marry a roomba.
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