You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
