Whod you bang
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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