My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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