I wish i was in the wii world.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
