I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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