I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
