is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
