you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
