I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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