...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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