what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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