if i died would you start the facebook group?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
