Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
