it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
