And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
