Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
