its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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