i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
