I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
