4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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