If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
