bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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