dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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