Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
