She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
